Saturday, December 26, 2009


MERRY {belated} CHRISTMAS!!!

i know that i wasn't on, but i hope that all of you had a wonderful, loving, and blessed time with friends & family. Jesus is the reason for this time, but the important part to remember is that, yes he was born, but he also lived, died, and ROSE AGAIN! he is just so awesome, our natural minds cannot possibly comprehend all of it. again, i hope & pray that God continues to bless you for the rest of the year, and for everyday following. make sure you pray, trust, and build a relationship with Him. that is what he desires. he loves us so much! THANK you Jesus!


Friday, December 18, 2009

christmas shopping

i went shopping with the sisters today and joined up with my boyfriend, donald at the mall tonight. we went to get some last minute gifts. the mall was pretty crazy, but not horrible. i'm so thankful that God has made it possible for my family to not be a part of the chaos that Christmas and Christmas shopping brings! understanding the real meaning behind Christmas and praying for God's mighty peace & love with friends & family is so much better than any materialistic thing!

God Bless!!!

Thursday, December 17, 2009


the semester is done, and so I'M COMING HOME TODAY!!!!!

thank you GOD for making it possible for me to survive the semester! ;D

Monday, December 7, 2009


Jesus said, "no procrastination. no backward looks. you can't put God's kingdom off till tomorrow. seize the day." the message bible

:: the following statements are taken from the book A YEAR IN THE NOW: a dynamic devotional dedicated to the daily discover of destiny by bishop jim swilley. ::

*today i will live in the now! i will live in the now because i have realized how important my time is and how necessary it is for me to stop WASTING it!

*today is a day full of opportunity and promise...

*...i will not be lazy...i will not put off until tomorrow what i should go ahead and do today...

*today i will trust that God will stop me before i take a wrong step, because i have prayed over my path...

Thursday, December 3, 2009

grace of god

by the grace of God, i am awake right now. i was working on a research paper/project all night last night---i went to bed at 1:30am and then woke up at 5:30am to finish. I did in the nick of time! phew!

prayer really does work! i was focused, and kept my peace, and my mind on HIM this morning and was able to complete the assignment. PRAISE GOD!

now, the agenda for tonight: read articles for a presentation tomorrow, go to the campus' international holiday party for a little bit, and then do more reading, then go to an 'un-birthday' house program, and finish the night with Christmas music, tea, warm clothes, and an early bedtime!

GoD bLeSs!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009


right now i'm listening to josh groban's NOEL cd. and lovin' it.

i just took a very nice 40 min nap... mmmm boy did i feel comfortable in that bed under those warm&snuggly blankets! but now back to work---i have two research papers&presentations to do and one quiz to study for by friday. Lord, you are my strength!!!

i encourage you all to seek the Lord's peace in this day! put on the mind of CHRIST!


Tuesday, December 1, 2009



i really, REALLY cannot believe that it is already the month of december. this year and semester has flown by! i love the fall season, and i love the winter season up until new years... after that...well, it could go. ;)

i pray that all of you will get the peace of god on you this month. that you remember the true reason behind christmas, and that you experience the love of god through your friends and family!!!!

GoD bLeSs!!!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, it's SNOWING! how appropriate is that huh?

Monday, November 30, 2009

t-day follow-up

hello all! i hope you had a wonderful thanksgiving with friends and family!!! i sure did. :) it was a wonderful, restful, and fun weekend.

now, it's BACK TO WORK for 2.5 more weeks until the end of the semester! EEKS! pray for me!

GoD bLeSs!!!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

thanksgiving break

i'm getting ready to pack so my sister and i can go home for THANKSGIVING break!!! it has been a long week and 2 days and finally, at last, i can enjoy the company of friends and family at home. :) may God bless you ALL a wonderful and love-filled thanksgiving day! <3

Sunday, November 22, 2009


i'm pretty sure i just found a new love/therapy/hobby today. pottery. yep! that's it!!! today is one of my best friend's 21st birthday and we went to take a pottery lesson near my college. she came to visit since she is home already for thanksgiving break! it was such a nice time! and i learned so much!

it is a tiny bit expensive, but i'm sure that i'll use it as a treat to myself every now and then---for some "me-time". :)))

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Good morning

I'm back, and want to say "GOOOOOOOD MORNING!" May the Lord bless you this day! I know he is our strength and our provider in everything!

I've been expected to finish a number of papers and projects these last few days, as well as in the coming weeks---hm, who woulda thought??---and will only rely on HIM to give me the endurance.

Put your minds on Jesus today and make sure you hand over your concerns and worries, because frankly, he can do more with them than we can!!

I missed you ALL!

Monday, June 22, 2009


usually mondays are not my best days. not that things go wrong, but nothing fun or interesting happens. it's just....well.... blah.

but! today, amanda and our good friend damien went out to starbucks to relax and talk and do whatever. he ordered coffee {as usual} and amanda and i ordered vanilla bean frappachinos. we have this little thing where he always tries to convince us to drink coffee---iced or hot. he LOVES it, i love the smell, but can't do the drink itself. i have just never been attracted to drinking it. plus we are trying to prove to our friends that we can survive without it. we have already been through high school and already two years of college without coffee. so far, it is just a fun game we do with each other.

after time of talking about God & goofing around we headed off to 99Restaurant to get some foodage. there we ordered a TON of food and laugh our heads off. the place was not very busy and we were able to really enjoy ourselves. we all were also able to order something out of the ordinary or out of our comfort zone.

i don't know how many of you know about the card game NERTZ but amazingly enough damien pulled out the decks of cards and we played multiple game after we were done eating and payed. our waitress was really nice and said that we could stay as long as we wanted! nertz is similar to solitare, but not. you can check this website out too if you want. it is a really fun game, and everyone {at just about EVERY single get together} plays it----for hours at a time!

overall we had a wonderful time fellowshiping and being with friends.

it was probably the coolest mondays in a long time! :)

Thursday, June 18, 2009

jake hamilton & jesus culture

my good friend gave my sister & i a jake hamilton cd {from jesus culture}, and i have fallen in love with it! thank you lord for willing vessels to shout your name and state your promises in our lives! we need to prophecy to this place--this place in time, this place of worship in which we go, & in our hearts. WE CAN SHAPE HISTORY!!! WE ARE GOING TO CHANGE THE WORLD!


here are more videos from youtube! Enjoy!

God Bless!

{pray until Jesus comes to this world, and have his word manifested in this earth!}

rain rain

"rain rain, go away, come back another day!"

indeed, it has been raining a whole lot lately! it does not even feel like summer. however, i was never a fan for super hot unbearable heat either. :/ the thunderstorms a few days ago, i did love though! i love thunderstorms. they are so powerful and the rain always puts me to sleep. i don't like it when a thunderstorm is during the day---especially when there is a chance that the power might go out. thus another pro to night-thunderstorms! lol

God is always faithful! he continues to work in me, my family & friends. my mother and i have had some misunderstandings, but were able to get through them, and i believe that we are at a better place now. a lack of communication with someone i truly look up to and want to be with is never good. i think some of the problems were created because i was trying to take care of things by "myself". which is never a good start: 1) i should always turn to God 2) my mother & father are definitely sources of support and wisdom. they are always here for me. so, i learned a lesson yesterday, seek God first in the mornings & throughout the day and never be afraid to talk to those God put in my life. even if the issue is small or big, there are always ways in dealing with the situations. :)

i also truly thank God for my friends, my BFF's, my "girls" ;D they have & always will be available for me as well. and i will continue to pray for them and come to them as well with my thoughts & needs. they truly are my besties. <3>

ok, im ready for lunch now. one thing about summer that could be a good thing or bad thing: leftovers. they never seem to go away! LOL


Wednesday, June 10, 2009

photo blog

due to my laziness during the month of may, i am posting many pictures on my other blog. if you have the time and want to check them out you most certainly can! :)

hm, lets see, a picture can say 1,000 words, then that means i should be all set with the scarcity of posts on this blog right??!! :)

God Bless!

this week is going to be rainy and gloomy, but with God, his light in&through us will always SHINE! <3>

Sunday, June 7, 2009

beautiful weekend

thank you lord for a wonderful, beautiful, warm, sunny, eventful, weekend with friends & family. you continue to bless us and love us. thank you..... <3

my 21st!

amanda & i turned 21 on may 17, 2009. it was a very quaint family get together with wonderful lasagna, cake & a movie. the day before we had our 3 very close friends for many years over for a party. :D

the next day we went for our renewed licenses! whoot! and they came out good! LOL

WE'RE 21!!!!!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

live GodFilled music

this is a christian radio station for the Pioneer Valley that my pastor and great brother in Christ run. they offer music and talks to share the word and love and passion of Jesus! check it out! this is the home page this is for the music

a morning walk

my mom & i went on a walk this morning. it took me a while to wake up before we left (thus making us leave at 8:30am rather than 8). but once we got moving, stretched, and started to go to our destination, we had some nice encouraging conversation. most of it was for my mom, with her wanting to become healthier and happier. i have been wanting to get my flexibility back (esp because i lost a lot of it when i came to college with the decrease amount of dancing i was involved in) as well as toning up and becoming healthier as well. so basically, we conversed and decided to walk everyday, at least, and then on mon.s, tues, & fri.s we will walk 2x a day. wed & thurs we have prayer and church in the evening, thus making those days our "resting days" so to speak. but our goal is to start small, to get accustomed, and begin to build new habits and a new way of thinking and living. this way when we start more rigourous activities (because eventually our bodies will get accostomed to the previous workout regime) we will "want" to work out, and love it at the same time! we were very positive, and i was very thankful and excited for the future of this summer.

Lord, i pray that you will help us to stay focused, and keep our thoughts on you as we take care of our bodies, and your "vessels". <3>

God Bless!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

another rainy, gloomy, sleepy day

i have so much to do! i wanted to start walking/jogging/running each day to get my exercise in for the summer, but it has been raining an awful lot lately. :( i also wanted to continue to work on my room, but i got a small cold so that delayed me a few days where rest & liquids were much needed {i am much better now}.

i just want it to be nice!

i am also in desperate need for exploring too!

Sunday, May 24, 2009


i have been going through a lot lately. it is kinda hard to elaborate/share (maybe for another time?), but God is indeed working in me/through me. i have unfortunately been unmotivated to write this past month (ahh!!!! sorry!!!). i am pushing on in my walk in God more than ever now, and would so love some prayers from you. because as "two or more are gathered.....God is in the midst" right??!!! why can't we gather on the internet eh?? i surely missed you a lot. i just didn't know where to start or how to write out what was going on in my life. part of it was laziness i must admit. :( i promise though, i WILL be writing more in the future. God touched my heart with this blog, and i will come back to it.

some quick updated news:
1)i have finished finals and my semester with a 3.675 GPA. yay! THANK YOU LORD! :D
2)i have moved back home (since may 1) and have yet to fully "move into my room". aka: unpack/clean.... lol i'm getting there! i have been doing a lot of "purging" of everything old! very cleansing! :)
3)i am taking one summer class (art history), for the month of july. i am a little nervous but excited for it. i was not able to take the photography one though because it was full :(
4)my sister & i now have 2 CARS!!! my uncle and cousin were able to bless us with it. however, it is a standard, so we have to learn how to drive it. mom took me out last night for a quick drive, oh boy... lord help me! lol
5)i have been playing volleyball every week! whoo hoo! every tuesday night (and sometimes the weekend) local churches get together and play. it has been a great networking system, and since i love the game, it is indeed a win-win situation :)

more stuff to come... thank you ALL for everything, even if all you do is read my posts, i really hope something i have put up has encouraged you in any way.


Saturday, May 2, 2009


Monday, April 27, 2009


ahh! i'm so sorry guys! i haven't been on in forever! so much has happened these last few weeks. a lot having to do with school ending on FRIDAY! whoo-hoo! the weather has been absolutely gorgeous, and .... hot. :O i have three finals and a research paper this week, and simply can not wait until they are over and i can enjoy my summer!

i will fill you all in later..... have a gorgeous week!!!!


Friday, April 10, 2009


may you ALL have a blessed and God filled RESURRECTION DAY!!!!!


Wednesday, April 8, 2009

strength in you

lord, give me the strength and peace i need to continue on these last few weeks!

yesterday i had a wonderful time at the new tribe bible study at RPI. we read john 12. at one point we were really able to do more sharing than analyzing and picking apart of the word. i really enjoyed that. it was good to hear and be encouraged by my peers on what they have gone through and what they are learning in their relationship with God.

many more projects left to go before summer! i am slowly but surely checking them off my list, but not nearly fast enough. :o/ i took my stats test today and i had a rough time. the material made sense to me but i knew that i had to go in and take my time. in addition to that, i had all the information i was studying jumble up in my brain the minute i put my notes away. it was very nerve-racking! i started to freak out a bit, so i took some deep breathes, moved onto another problem, and tried to focus. i almost got to the point where i felt like i couldn't breathe and was on the verge of hyperventilating. i've never been in a position like that before! it was scary. but i believe my prayer before i took my test and while i was studying allowed me to in the end do the most i could do. there is always more room for studying, and i should've payed attention to my time the night before a little better, but i do believe God helped me not bomb it! thank you Jesus!

i'm off to a lacrosse game where i'm working at RPI, and right now it is flurrying!! AHH! at least it is better than pouring rain for 2+ hours like on monday.

please keep me in prayer, and all other students, for the end of the semester is always stressful. it is definitely something that should not distract us from God!!!

"i can do all things in you Lord!!" <3

Saturday, April 4, 2009


i found this as an advertisement on my facebook. it is really good..

Another great artist i was introduced to by a friend from my church is nina landis. i wasn't able to find this song on youtube but you can go to this site and look for the "greatest weapon" song to the right of the page. it is short but so powerful and awesome. i can play it over and over all night. it is so calming and true ----- {}. feel free to look at the other songs too!

here is one

Wednesday, April 1, 2009


psalm 27:14
14 wait on the Lord;
be of good courage,
and He shall strengthen your heart;
wait, i say, on the Lord!

the meaning of "wait" here isn't a lazy, passive waiting, but rather an active stepping back, handing over our current issues to God, and wait for his will to come to pass through us! His timing is perfect! i love it whenever i start to get stressed, or get a little unhappy with how things are going in my life, and the minute i change my mindset and focus on Jesus i get stronger. stronger in him and stronger in my faith. waiting for something only makes it better when it finally arrives! that's why i want to wait on God's timing and not my own because i always want something premature or too late. but God is so good! he'll make us wait for him to speak, seek him out, and in the meantime we get a stronger love connection with him. whatever God has in store for me--whether it be what classes i take at school, where i live next year, what job{s} i get over the summer, who my friends are, my future boyfriend and then husband, etc.--i know it will be great. and frankly, i'm not in any hurry. i'm going to lean back, study his word, get to know him more through prayer, and well....simply wait.


Monday, March 30, 2009

one step further

one step step further to a different career, year at sage, and in my walk with God.

i handed in the papers for dropping chemistry, registering for the two classes i wasn't able to register for before, and changing my major TODAY!!!!!


thank you Jesus! so much weight is off my shoulders now. no longer do i have to put my energy and time into worrying about the small stuff, but now i can look forward to finishing up the semester with my projects that are due. :)

amanda & i also went to resident life to pick up our lottery numbers for housing next year. unfortunately we did not get the low numbers we wanted. i got 128 and amanda 130. they said it was supposed to be random... we don't think so. :( also, things are being done MUCH differently than last year. we do not have nearly that many residents that are going to be rising juniors this year---the numbers are so high because the college decided to include the communters in the lottery. WHAT?! no, i don't think that is fair. last year there was paperwork and due dates that were necessary to fill out in order to be a commuter and this year they are just going to put residents that have no choice but to live on campus with the commuters? i'm not trying to sound mean, but its not right. they should have residents pick their housing first and foremost and then allow commuters the chance to look for rooms. usually commuters stay commuters, and if they were to decide to live on campus most of the time the move during spring semesters. residents already have to fight tooth & nail for rooms and compete against eachother, and when we get really high numbers in the lottery system, thrown in with all of the commuter students, it makes it even more difficult to find adaquate rooms. it is also going to waste a lot of time when we go to pick the rooms on the designated dates because there are going to be a whole lot of empty spaces with commuters that decide to NOT live on campus? yes you should open the opportunity to live on campus to commuters. they deserve the same chances, but not in a way that would make things harder on the residents. most residents live on campus because they cannot commute back and forth to their homes. we don't have that choice, so we should be given our normal chances to get housing like previous years and still open up the field for commuters once all the residents have chosen their houses. there has been a HUGE increase in students for next year attending this "small" women's college. i really don't know how the college is going to handle it. i'm almost afraid that they are going to run out of rooms!!!! this is probably the reason as to why i'm a little upset. i don't want to end up without a room because of a commuter who decided to live on campus last minute! :( a few of our friends have high numbers as well and are equally confused and upset as to the changed system from last year. but i guess the only thing we can do {and what amanda&i have already done once} is to pray and think positively. God will make a way!! he always does!

enough of my ranting... have a great night!

God bless

Saturday, March 28, 2009

a barbecue and obnoxiously loud friends

tonight amanda, jill, & i went up to RPI {the college up the hill from us} and visited our friends. we try to see each other whenever we can, but it has been very busy and we did not have the chance since winter break. a VERY long time considering we are only 10 min away from eachother.

regardless, we decided to hang out this weekend. most of the time we don't have specific plans but to just hang out and see what happens.

so that's what we did!!

when our friend nick picked the three of us up and when we arrived to their apartment/dorm outside on the lawn were all of the inside living room furniture! everyone was lounging away in the sun, chatting, and having a good time.

so we were hanging out for a bit, decided that we wanted a barbecue {thus meaning a field trip to price chopper later}, and in the meantime before dinner threw around the football and frisbee.

my friend harsha said something that was very true! something that means a lot to me. he mentioned that what is so funny is that just by throwing a ball back and forth between a few people can be so much fun and so fulfilling! you pass it on to someone else, wait patiently for it to come back to you {not knowing exactly when}, and when it eventually makes its way back to your waiting hands, you get so excited! i love just being relaxed, knowing that you have no current worries to take care of, enjoy the sun, and throwing a football around with some great friends!

most of these "friends" are guys. its funny... sage is an all women's college, and RPI {rensselaer polytecnic institue} is co-ed but practically an all men's college {approx. a 3/7 girl to guy ratio}. therefore, whenever we need a "testosterone" fix {which happens once in a while because girls can definitely become overwhelming..... fast!} we try to get to see them. we do have a few girl friends that go there, and i personally think that we help them out by giving them an "estrogen" fix! LOL

nonetheless, as we enjoy eachother's company, the guys DO become loud, overreactive, & obnoxious... fast! and yet... i love every bit of it. <3

award: fabulous

i have been blessed and honored to be picked as one of five fabulous blogs for this award by Jen

in order to receive it i have to do two things:
1. confess five things to which I am addicted, and 2. pass the award on to five other fabulous blogs.

so first, here are my five addictions...

five addictions:
1. God
2. taking pictures---it seriously relaxes me. i love it!!!
3. people watching
4. thinking about the future
5. wearing comfy clothes & cuddle with fuzzy things & drink peppermint tea.

now here is the tough part. the following five fabulous blogs are:

Recovering the Satellites:
even though she hasn't posted in a while, she has a perfect reason and i have no doubt that she will make it up to us! ;D {nance i'm only writing this because i know you'll read it <3}>

Beautifully Broken: a beautiful blog full of dedication in everything!

Learning to be a Wife: a great blog that inspires me although i am no wheres to getting married yet! :)

A glimpse into my thoughts...: a blog that is full of love and truth. thanks for sharing everything that you do!

Life with Logan: this blog is just so cute and i fully enjoy seeing the love a mother has for her child!

now i hope you all will pass this award on to five additional fabulous blogs, and don't forget to tell us your five addictions!


sunny days

sunny days are a comin'!!!! i'm so excited! today my roommate jill&i went out to the park on campus and did some homework, relaxed, and observed how life is when the snow is gone! <3>

may you ALL have wonderful God blessed SUNNY DAYS!

Friday, March 27, 2009


per usual, i was looking out the window and thought that i'd get a few pictures of the string that is attached to my shade. :o/ eh, i like it! :)

thank you bl<3ggers!

thank you all for your concerns, prayers, suggestions, and advice. i am feeling a lot better, almost completely normal!! i took two naps yesterday, kept warm in socks and a sweatshirt, took only two cold tablets, drank water, ate some soup at dinner {although not much because the school likes to pour buckets of salt in it---did not end up finishing}, drank cranberry juice {Jen, I would have taken your advice on the echinacea, etc. but i had no means on getting to a store plus i was feeling a lot better as the day went on yesterday}, and most importantly i read in the word and prayed again!!!

this is the fastest a cold has ever "started to emerge" and disappear without going through it's course. that's exactly it, it is God's course, not the cold's! :D i still need to blow my nose and a tiny bit stiff, but i'm not letting it bother me one bit because i plan on playing 3 hours of the amazingly fun game of
volleyball at RPI {college up the hill} for a 24hr tournament for the illiteracy cause. amanda & i are very excited. we are being picked up @1:30pm so i'll be praying that everything will go smoothly and there would be NO injuries whatsoever!


Thursday, March 26, 2009


i went to bed after a few hours of feeling like the beginning of a cold is emerging. i already prayed over myself for healing and strength, went to bed when i no longer needed to stay up {i wouldn't really call it early, but i guess it was} at about 11:45pm. i've been drinking some more fluids {water, cranberry juice, orange juice}, disinfecting the room, and trying to stay optimistic. i'm going to take another quick nap before my class at 11 today {actually my English class is going to be online today not in the classroom} so that will help with the occasional blowing of the nose. :P please pray for me because i really can not afford to get sick. i am so close to the end, and need to trust in God that this thing is only temporary and believe that it won't affect my life.

<3> in Christ

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

a long day coming to an end

so today was incredibly long, fast, intense, calming, busy, relaxed, & well, interesting.

1)8AM: i took an extremely insane chem test
2) 9AM: relaxed & read in the bible
3) 10AM: today, march 25, 2009 our school's new president was announced. i got to go to the ceremony for one of my classes.
4) 11AM: stats was probably the longest 1hr 20min ever!
5) 1230PM:i didn't have time to get a real lunch because i had an appointment with my adviser to look at my portfolio----a bagel and cheetos.
6) 1245PM: i had my meeting with my adviser/will be professor and she approved my portfolio for the major----I'M IN, I'M IN!!! :D :D :D :D :D
7) 120PM: i went to the chem lab review session before lab @ 2pm and talked with the TA about me dropping out of chem.
8) 125PM: i went to student services to get the add/drop form and the change of major form
9) 130PM: went to my chem professor's office to have him sign the paper---i finally dropped chem!
10)135PM: went back to the library to let everyone know that i will not be in lab or the class anymore
11)145PM: back in the room for 2 hrs----shared the news with some friends&amanda and took a nap
12)400PM: went to work until 530pm. did some research on the computer while in the front desk office of the recreation building (where the gym is) for my english research paper
13)530PM: went back to the room instead of directly to dinner like i usually do every wednesday
14)535PM: went up to the room, dropped off my bag, went BACK to the dining hall (1min away from where i work)
15)630PM: back to the room, did some important emails.
16)700PM: went to a guest lecturer who is a photojournalist looking at the effects of immigration on the women of mexico left behind by husbands. i went to this for extra credit for one of my classes. it was really informative, i like it a lot. :)
18)820PM: it went longer than expected, and i left after the first half and questions
19)830PM: back to the room and watching students come in and out of all the dorms for tours because of the room lottery coming up---choosing housing for next year.
20)840PM: talked to mom & dad on the phone. found out that amanda&my car is fixed!! well, a big part of it is. :)
21)920PM--present: relaxing, blogging, and finishing up my interview paper for my cultural perspective class.


Well, that was my day in a nut shell. Thank you lord for providing strength and blessings all day! <3>

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

things temporary

a lot has happened to me since my last post. most of it has been me learning to be open to hear and listen to what others have to say, and most importantly what God is saying or wants to say. with the semester rapidly drawing near, there are soo many projects and papers that i have to accomplish in a very little time. i know that lately i have been writing about a lot of my academics, but really, right now, that is basically all that is happening in my life. besides going to church at terra nova here in ny, talking with friends about so many various topics (some academic)... i can really only focus on a few things at once.

one piece of news is that i get to see my new adviser tomorrow and show her my portfolio!!! whoo hoo! i'm so excited. once i'm there, i will talk to her about actually signing me off to the CAT Art major (Creative Arts in Therapy in Art), registering for the 2 classes i wasn't able to register for (because i had to be in the major and i wasn't yet), and.... to see if i can withdraw from chem. :( for about a week now, i have been really debating about doing this. should i stick it out (i hate not finishing something i started) or should i drop it because technically i don't need it for my new major and i already have the sciences requirements with my previous 4 other science classes from this past semester and last year. i wasn't doing as well as i wanted in that class. i would study, get some help, go to every class, but somehow the exams (we've only had 2 quizzes, 1 exam, & 1 lab exam---not many grades at all) are totally different than the notes that we take. :( granted, i could have spent 5 hours studying all the time, but i have other classes to take care of as well! if chem were my only class to take this semester, i would most likely have an A (well hopefully). however, as all students know, we have to prioritize EVERYTHING! so i decided that with the help of my parents, sister, & friends i will withdraw from chemistry. it will bring up my gpa, because i don't need it for my new major, and i will be able to have a lot less stress and can work harder on my other classes.

i talked to my mom & dad on sunday night about this whole chemistry decision, and for a little over an hour i was switching back and forth between parents. but i talked to my mom the most and she said some things that were really encouraging to me. i don't know how many of you experience this, but my mom tends to ask me questions or talk to me and figures out exactly what i'm feeling or am burdened with-----not only is it because she is a mom, but that she has the Holy Spirit in her too!

long story short (we WERE talking for more than an hour lol), she basically pin pointed the fact that i was feeling a bit like a failure--like i was letting my parents down. mind you, i didn't tell my parents that i was having trouble with the second semester of chemistry right away because i had just gotten a letter saying that i was on the dean's list for last semester and with this negative news, it would just damper everything good. so she asked me, "do you feel like a failure?" and that is when i started to cry because all the stress was building up in me and i was trying to not think about the poor grade. basically i knew what i was feeling, but didn't have a name to it. it wasn't like i felt entirely like a failure but rather i let myself and parents down because i know they want me to do so well in school. so my mom explained some things to me.
1) i'm not a failure
2) God does not think i'm a failure
3)my parents do not think i'm a failure
4) don't i ever think that again! LOL
at this point i know she is 100% true and that somehow i was starting to believe this lie and amidst all the studies, it was the perfect timing for these thoughts to sneak in---a time where my guard was down, and i wasn't praying a whole lot about things concerning school. she also mentioned that as a student you do everything you can to get in enough studying before a test---stay up late, wake up early, study right before the exam before class starts. if i spend SO MUCH time and effort in studying for a class or test that ultimately is so temporary and significant to the things God wants me to do, why can't i stay up late with reading the word and have it be the last thing i read for the day, wake up early to get my morning God "fix", or pray right before the class starts??
duh!!! once again, i learn that the Holy Spirit and mom make an amazing team. haha.
so, ever since this talk with my mom, i have been determined to do things differently. i have been improving a lot, but oh boy, do i still have a long way to go! but don't we all?? like previous posts, i want Jesus to be in my every thought, all the time! i want to treat him like he is THE MOST IMPORTANT person in my life. school, work, assignments, etc... it is all temporary in the eyes of God. Yes, i should work hard in school, but it should never be something that takes time away from being with him.

i have been reading in the bible lately, and for a few days, i'm going back and forth between a few scriptures.
psalm 71: 1-3, 7-8
1 in you, o Lord, i put my trust; let me never be put to shame.
2 deliver me in your righteousness, and
cause me to escape;
incline your ear to me, and save me.
3 be my strong refuge,
to which i may resort continually;
you have given the commandment to save me,
for you
are my rock and my fortress.

7 i have become as a wonder to many,
but you
are my strong refuge.
8 let my mouth be filled
with your praise
and with your glory all the day.

psalm 55: 22
22 cast your burden on the Lord,
and He shall
sustain you;
He shall never permit the righteous to
be moved.

psalm 37: 3-5
3 trust in the Lord, and do good;
dwell in the land, and feed on His
4 delight yourself also in the Lord,
and He shall give you the desires of your
5 commit your way to the Lord,
trust also in Him,
and he shall bring
it to pass

**new spirit filled life bible

i also wanted to share with you some songs that i have heard before, but just mean so much to me. last night, amanda& i went to val&annie's room and were talking and reading the word. towards the end, before we left to go to bed, amanda shared some youtube videos with val. these songs are EXACTLY what my feelings and stance on my relationship with God right now is. i hope that they will bless you as much as they continue to encourage and bless me. Thank You Jesus! <3>


Saturday, March 14, 2009


i was wondering if anyone could help me. maybe give me some advice? i've tried to get a play list on my page, but it won't actually play music for me. please let me know if it is or is not working for you. i feel like it won't play when you click the button... :o/

also, i was able to get the rest of my supplies for my portfolio this week/weekend and am excited. i have to finish up 3 paintings & then i'll be done! yay! however, right now, because of my excitement and zeal for the future i don't want to do anything for my classes i'm currently taking this semester. i get used to being home& right when i am accustomed, i have to pack up & move out...again. :( but there is good news, i only have 6 weeks left before finals& i'll be coming home for my 4 month summer on may2nd!! whoo hoo! i just need to focus, pray, and work hard for these last couple of weeks because they are going to fly by like crazy!

ps. spring break has sadly come to an end, and i have been privileged to capture some awesome pictures and am super duper excited to put them up once i get back to school. so make sure you check them out soon on my other blog!

oh ya!! i also got new specks for my beautiful blue eyes and a longggggg overdue upgrade for my cell phone. amanda {my twin sis} & i now each have individual phones and no longer have to share which is a good thing. we've been sharing the same phone since 10th grd. i think that we would probably continue to share it for a longer period of time, but there has been some complaints of fuzzy&crackly sounds when we talk. so this convinced us to leave the antique behind and go for something a bit more updated. there is a time& a season for everything, and i guess it was time to move on and start new. :D

We have decided to donate the phone for soldiers across seas to use.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

have no fear! i'm still here!

hey everybody! i'm just checking in because i haven't been on in about a week. right now i am on my spring break and have been at home, church, friends' houses, playing volleyball with some churches, etc. & having a blast during all of it. :) i am also pretty busy with make-up readings {ewwww} that i want to get done for my classes&also stuff in order to get ahead {ewwww again..}.

with this new direction for my life and my major, i am in the midst of getting together an art&photography portfolio to hand in upon my arrival back to ny. once i get this done, i can be officially signed off as a CAT {creative arts in therapy} art major!! :D :D :D :D

for this portfolio, i have been asked to get about 10 pieces together. i have done two sketches so far, i am choosing four photos {which is MUCH harder than i thought}, and hope to do another sketch and three paintings by the end of the week! ah! i am excited though, and still feel like this is something God wants for me. i am ambitious&am happy to say that already my creative juices are a-flowin'! --whoot!

thank you lord!

as a side note, i'd like to share that today {as i was taking a shower}, i was able to really pray about some issues that were on my mind&heart for a long time. some hurts, some misunderstandings/confusions, and even for some unforgiveness i had. i started off just praying&thanking the lord for the wonderful day i was able to enjoy. from there, i was able to pray and actually TALK to God. now you have to understand, usually i pray very short prayers here and there every now and then throughout the day and such. i have never really prayed in the shower before, or at least for longer than 2 minutes while in there. for a while now, i have been yearning to really conversate with Jesus, and to treat him as my best friend that he REALLY IS and to go and give up my burdens to him. it was a really nice feeling or rather encouragement that the things that i have been praying about are in fact capable to be taken care of! hm, would you think about that...God really taking our fears and concerns and all we have to do is give them over to him! so easy, and yet, we as humans continue to make things so darn difficult!


but, to finish up, i was able to express the many issues on my heart concerning some things that were causing some unforgiveness towards 1-2 people. it is usually easy for me to brush things off my shoulders and let go, but this particular situation has been with me for a few months, and when i was able to leave the routine way of approaching prayer, i was released and able to move on. God still has to help me to fully move on, but i believe that i have made a right turn in the right direction. :)


Thursday, March 5, 2009

jason upton- in the beginning

"In the beginning God saw everything when love went wandering into the night.

Was I first or last?
Was I second best?
These questions quickly pass into the light.

At the waters edge I see As your spirit speaks to me: Call to me and I will answer you, I’ll give you peace, a peace you have not known on your own.

When my vision died you opened my eyes to something that I had never seen. I have touched your hands and you have called me friend, but doubting never ends until I believe.

At the waters edge I see As your spirit speaks to me: Call to me and I will answer you, I’ll give you peace, a peace you have not known on your own."

-Jason Upton


i couldn't find a better video for this song on youtube. but it is on itunes. the name of the song is In the Beginning Pt. 1 from the cd 1200 Feet Below Sea Level. this song has been on my heart for the last two days. i've just been playing it over&over all morning today. love it.

thank you lord for letting us call onto you! father, you have promised us peace and love... thank you for always being in the midst. i want to be your little girl. i want to come to you in times of need. i want to be intimate and talk with you about every aspect of my life. i don't want to leave you out anymore. i want a heart of worship for you--a way of life. i want&need to seek you and be in your presence. i love you Jesus.

Monday, March 2, 2009

to-do lists

oh the joys to being alive in this day & age. so many ideas, so many expectations, so many do.

making a list helps a person get organized. it allows a person to see what he/she has to accomplish in preparation for upcoming events&assignments. a to-do list is a source of stress relief because you tend to not forget what is due when you visually see the notes&check things off as they get completed----well unless you forget to write something on the list, and that is another point for another time. perhaps i can write a post on forgetfulness. i should put that on my to-do list. ;P

i said that lists can help with relieving stress because you can see the lists of demands&commitments you previously are assigned to or agreed to complete. however, once that list goes from short to medium to long to longish to very long, well, forget about relieving stress, you have so much stuff to do by then! you don't have time to think about other things.

i made a to-do list last night. a list of assignments&exams due that i have to get done before Friday afternoon when i go home for spring break. it was sorta long, but not too bad because i only focused on one week of work, rather than a month or so {which i know will be stressful to even look at---one week at a time, one week at a time}. so, i wrote out my list of things to do, and included everything i presently need to accomplish as well as some "catch up stuff" because it is quite common that i get behind by a chapter or so of reading in one of my classes. from there, with everything included, i grabbed my highlighter and thought "i should highlight my priorities, so i can break things up and not get overwhelmed". great idea right? of course, except when everything on the list is highlighted except for two. :/

then, i came back from chemistry about 20 min ago, and was informed that i have a lab exam on wed {as well as everything else in the entire universe}, one more thing to add to the list!

oh wait, don't let a sigh of relief yet, we're not done yet! i forgot to add my day2 midterm for sociology that is on friday. awesome.

i talked to amanda&my other roommate jill last night letting them know that obviously we all have things to do this week {projects, papers, exams, etc} and to not worry when the room is super quiet and we are not all happy-go lucky. we are just going to really have to focus so we won't snap at eachother. be more considerate, and quiet than usual as well. help out whenever we could.

i also said that i'm going to be pretty stressed today because i have to write two papers today. i asked amanda if she could help me calm down if i get a little wired {you see, i already get nervous and anxious when i have to write one paper & writing two, well, is new to me}. she said something that i was pretty ashamed of not thinking of first before i opened my mouth. she mentioned, "well, God will help you first you know"... well durr! of course he will!!! i wanted to hit myself in the head. i need to go to him first before anyone else. he is my peace&comforter, which is exactly what i need for this chaotic week.

::thank you lord for always being there for me when i need you. both in good times & bad. i pray for peace, rest&comfort in the times that i get anxious today. my life is in your hands. i want to do well, make you my proud daddy. i don't want to let you down. i will work hard&try to stay focused. i am so thankful that you hold me when i need to be held, and smile at me as my eyes get lower... whenever i need it. i love you Jesus::

Sunday, March 1, 2009

don't worry blog, i'm not letting you down

lately i've been going about my days like normal. wake up, shower, go to class, come back from class, eat, etc.

but every now and then, more often now than before, i have been thinking&praying about a lot of stuff. all kinds of things pertaining to my life now&for the future.

i feel like i am sorta in a rut with my blogging--but not. :/ i have never been a huge writer, but i liked to do it sometimes. ever since i started writing posts, as i go about my day, certain thoughts&situations come my way that cause me to ponder. "i should write this on my blog! this would be so cool!" usually pops into my head multiple times a day. but, by the time i get to my room, so many distractions have already beat me to the computer and either, i don't feel motivated to write anymore, or i forget what it was that i originally wanted to write about. then there are those times where i do remember what i wanted to write about, but have no idea as to how to go about it! therefore making me feel very disorganized {which i hate}, and somehow letting down my blog. :/ i know that this isn't true, but somehow i got the impression that when a person has a journal or diary or blog {which can also be seen as a virtual diary}, they tend to write in it frequently. writing everyday isn't practical for me but if an idea or thought comes, why stop it right? i never see the point in ceasing something if it is working out fine for the time being.

i created this blog so i could share {all} my thoughts openly&freely. it seems easier to share your life with strangers than with people you know. you are connected some way on the internet. not the same way with those whom i care about here at school, church, or home, but yet, we are still somewhat bonded by an invisible string. bloggers want to share who they are, to meet new people& basically display whatever they have a desire for. my sudden urge to write came from a need to get in a closer relationship with God. i needed to share what has been instilled in me. i have been poured with God's love&spirit&word for a long time, and finally needed an outlet. it is so vital to release what is inside of you. God uses us as his go-between---but only when we are willing to work for him. when we agree to whole-heartedly be a vessel for him to work through us, that is when his will is able to be fulfilled. obviously we can't do everything, but i can see people as his little-helpers.

this is why i have this blog. to write what is on my heart, what God puts on my heart, as well as some babbling that just needs to be done. :)

i guess this is all i wanted to share about today. not quite sure if it made any sense, or if it had any relavance or influence on anyone but nonetheless, it was something i needed to blog.

oh ya, i haven't done any work today either. yay for me!! :/

Saturday, February 28, 2009

a much needed visit

my very dear friend nancy, came to visit amanda & i at school this weekend. she came yesterday afternoon, slept over, and left later today.

it was definitely a "much needed visit".

i love her so much. one of the most beloved aspects of our friendship {with my other besties as well}, is that we can have a great time.....doing nothing! just sitting with eachother, laughing/giggling, talking, relaxing, and being just what God created us to be. that is when the most precious bonds are formed.

thank you nancy for making an effort to come to troy! we love & appreciate you!

however, because she left much later than planned, i did not get any school work done. therefore, tomorrow will be a "much needed library visit". ;P


Sunday, February 22, 2009

a new path: thank*you*jesus!

this will most likely be my longest post ever.. for this particular time in my life at least. i really didn't know how to explain everything i wanted to say. so i thought that the beginning would be a good place to start. :)

junior year of high school we all had to start thinking about college. where to go and what to go for. i seemed to enjoy my science classes, liked sports, and heard that the medical field is a good place to go for jobs. after some thought i decided to go to school for physical therapy.

after i chose to go to school in troy, new york, i needed to pick a major for my undergraduate degree {you can't have physical therapy as a major--it is only part of grad school}. i chose health sciences. i figured it would hit all the right areas needed to prepare me for work after graduation.

freshman year began. classes started. the fun goes a-rollin'. right? sorta.

i liked my psych class, english, women of the world {figures--a gen ed course for a woman's college}, etc. i hated anatomy. yes, some of the content was interesting, but the book was horrible, the lab was horrible, cats in lab were horrible {yes, we had to dissect cats}, and the tests were time consuming to study for and tough. i worked hard, but just couldn't understand the material in time for the exams. it seemed that i would always learn the information after the exam was over. :/

sophomore year arrives. i'm going on my normal day-day schedule: chemistry, psych classes, nutrition, orthopedic evaluation, etc. i'm getting really stressed about next year and grad school. i had wanted to re-do anatomy next year, not because i failed but because i wasn't happy with my grade and a do-over would help my with my gpa. so as i met with my adviser in october. i talked to her a little bit of what i wanted to do. what to swap for next semester's schedule, what to do and when. i also spoke of leaving the advanced PT program {3+3} and going to the 4+3 PT program instead. she told me that that was an easy adjustment to make.

i didn't want to take a million science classes and not fully appreciate or enjoy the college experience. i am going to a liberal arts school, and am currently not receiving a variety of classes. i wanted to be able to do dance as well as the other arts & photography.

however, as i continued to think, read&prepare for my upcoming years here, i just felt so uneasy in my spirit. i knew that i could do the work. i'm not incapable. it was just that i was afraid of being behind my class and not being able to get a job afterward. i also couldn't see myself as a physical therapist. originally, i thought i did. working in an office for sports rehab and/or with athletes was my plan. the more i tried to picture my future, and the more i prayed that God would show me an answer, the more i couldn't see myself as a physical therapist.

so, i went to those who meant a lot to me: family&friends. they all said that i work hard, explain information&material very well, and relate to people. some said i would make a good physical therapist.

winter break comes. yay! no classes for a whole month! after some much needed r&r, i needed to buy books again & get ready for spring semester.

i was on the computer at home, ordering books with my mom. i remember this vividly. then, as we were looking through the online catalog of the college's bookstore, i started to get stressed out. was this really what i wanted to continue in? should i even bother going on with a health science major? again, an uneasiness in my inner self&spirit arose. i started to cry with an unknowing of what to do. my mom&i talked about it, and she had told me to make an appointment with a local physical therapist who knows our family friends pretty well. needless to say, the appointment didn't end up happening. but she did say to me before, "did you ever pray about this?"

by this she meant my major. did God ever want me to do physical therapy? i wasn't sure because i never truly asked.

my sister&i return back to school. i go about my daily schedule, and am trying to stay positive&work hard. with the dance show coming up, work, and studies... things got very busy&hectic--very fast.

for a while now, i don't precisely know how long, i have been dealing with a lot of stress, uneasiness&confusion concerning my future&major while here at school. so, once again, i start thinking about my options. i prayed and talked it out with my friends.

the ball got rolling on wednesday of last week. i was coming back from the gym with my friend and we were talking about my worries&concerns. i told her about how i was afraid that i wouldn't be a good physical therapist, get a job, or be happy. i told her that the reason why i kept health sciences as an option for my major was because i took a few classes that really inspired&excited me about health&wellness. healing from the inside out. the whole body&mind--not just the scientific levels of a person.

my choices went like this:
*health sciences/PT
*health sciences/PT with photography classes jr&sr year
*health sciences NO PT {i could do this, but i will eventually need a specialty later on anyways}
*creative arts & therapy with a dance concentration {i liked dance, but would really like to use it as a personal outlet--plus my sister has that major}
*creative arts & therapy with a visual arts concentration
*creative arts & therapy with a visual arts concentration & integrated photography classes.
---hm, that last one sounded reaaaalllllyyyyyyyy good.

last week on thursday i was in my friends' room and we talked for HOURS {not just on this subject} but it was where i brainstormed, shared, confessed&sought counsel. in the end....

...a decision was made.

i have decided to change my major from health sciences/pt to CAT visual arts&photography!!!! :D

immediately following, i felt total peace, rest&clarity. i am positive that god had his hand on the situation. after my declaration, my friend val told me that about two months ago, she had this feeling that physical therapy wasn't really meant for me. that it wasn't what i was supposed to do. it didn't fit. THANK YOU JESUS! what a confirmation!

i am actually happy&excited for school again! i wrote my adviser an email, and am now on a brand new road! a new road that i am sure god will have his hand on once again. i will continue to seek him out and pray that he will continue to teach me to be quiet and rest in his peace&love&wisdom.

this new aspired journey will be one of creativity, love & a willingness to allow God to move through me. my vision is to help heal those hurt from the inside out through art and God's almighty love.


Wednesday, February 18, 2009


i got this in an email. it is totally amazing! you need to watch it in its entirety. this video definitely hits home at the end.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


i've been a very busy bee lately. lots of studying, reading, working, and of course checking my emails--multiple times. ::whoops::

my mom always told me that when you are studying, you should take periodic short breaks to clear your head and so you don't become antsy.

well, the key is to take those breaks after some significant amount of studying first.

::whoops:: again, oh well.

i have a chem test tomorrow at 8am and am not too excited for it. hopefully i will go in with a clear head and a calm heart. no point in taking a test when you are so worried you can not focus--might as well not study for hours before hand!

i am aiming at going to bed tonight at a reasonable hour-- please God, let me get some much needed rest tonight.

sorry that this post was short. i suppose i was using it as my "break".

i'll be back later--tonight--tomorrow--sometime in the future.

God bless you! <3>

:: philippians4:13
i can do all things through Christ who strenthens me ::

Saturday, February 14, 2009

premio dardos award

"With the Premio Dardos is to recognize the values that each blogger uses to transmit cultural values, ethical, literary, personal, etc.. that, in short, demonstrate their creativity through the thought that is alive and remains intact from their letters, between his words. These stamps were created with the intention of promoting fraternization between bloggers, a way of showing affection and gratitude for a job that adds value to the Web."

i have been honored to have been mentioned on Jen's blog My Moments for this award. so, as the rules go, in order to collect the award, i need to pass this on to fifteen other bloggers' blogs. i am not quite sure if i'll be able to reach the needed number, but will try. i am still learning the members of this blogging community and enjoying it very much.

thanks again for this recognition. :) it reassures me that the motivation that caused me to create my two blogs in the first place is fulfilling itself. i am making a difference, somehow, somewhere...even if it is the smallest bit. thank you all for making the opportunity for me to share myself openly! i look forward to getting to know more of you through all of your blogs! <3

1. The Unobtrusives
is a very unique, and different blog. Viviane puts a new perspective on different aspects of everyday life.

2. Beautifully Broken, by Emily is so enjoyable. she expresses her love of Jesus in ways that only continue to inspire me to continue in my own walk in Christ.

3. Chase Images is a gorgeous blog with great photos and personality. i enjoy it immensely.

4. Dare 2 Dig Deeper is another blog by Emily.

5. It Takes Skill To Trip On Flat Ground is a blog i came upon a while ago, and like to visit.

6. Thankful Paul's blog JESUS AND THE ATHEIST is a blog where, the first post i read made me so excited and thankful that there was someone sharing their testimony in Christ. thank you for your determination and love for Jesus.

7. I learned about Jessica's blog Photography by Jessica through Jen {My Moments}. I love looking at her photos and seeing the love she pours into her family and friends.

8. Nancy, is one of my best friends. she is so determined, passionate, and full of life. I am happy that she takes the time to write so much about what she thinks is important to her. i love you! visit her blog Recovering the Satellites if you want to take an everyday meaning of a word, song or phrase and see it from a different perspective!

9. Jonna's blog, SHE in China is an interesting blog. with stories of traveling and life in another country. she is helping me stay focused in my aspirations as a traveler for the future.

10. Katherine's blog, katherine lou is a different blog than some of the others. she is very much into fashion as well as photography and shares lovely parts of her life.

11. teh cheese stands alone is a new blog i just recently started to follow, and already is funny and interesting to read. i feel like whatever Krista writes about, i have either thought about doing or have done it. very ironic.

12. Wonderfully Made! is another new blog i am visiting and is pretty artistic and creative. i am starting to get my creative juices flowing for gifts for friends and family by looking here.

unfortunately, i don't have quite 15 blogs to mention for this award, but i personally think the number is just a goal and not a requirement. thanks to all you bloggers for touching my life in little ways and for upgrading my blogging community{family}. :D