a much needed visit

my very dear friend nancy, came to visit amanda & i at school this weekend. she came yesterday afternoon, slept over, and left later today.

it was definitely a "much needed visit".

i love her so much. one of the most beloved aspects of our friendship {with my other besties as well}, is that we can have a great time.....doing nothing! just sitting with eachother, laughing/giggling, talking, relaxing, and being just what God created us to be. that is when the most precious bonds are formed.

thank you nancy for making an effort to come to troy! we love & appreciate you!

however, because she left much later than planned, i did not get any school work done. therefore, tomorrow will be a "much needed library visit". ;P

<3>

a new path: thank*you*jesus!

this will most likely be my longest post ever.. for this particular time in my life at least. i really didn't know how to explain everything i wanted to say. so i thought that the beginning would be a good place to start. :)

junior year of high school we all had to start thinking about college. where to go and what to go for. i seemed to enjoy my science classes, liked sports, and heard that the medical field is a good place to go for jobs. after some thought i decided to go to school for physical therapy.

after i chose to go to school in troy, new york, i needed to pick a major for my undergraduate degree {you can't have physical therapy as a major--it is only part of grad school}. i chose health sciences. i figured it would hit all the right areas needed to prepare me for work after graduation.

freshman year began. classes started. the fun goes a-rollin'. right? sorta.

i liked my psych class, english, women of the world {figures--a gen ed course for a woman's college}, etc. i hated anatomy. yes, some of the content was interesting, but the book was horrible, the lab was horrible, cats in lab were horrible {yes, we had to dissect cats}, and the tests were time consuming to study for and tough. i worked hard, but just couldn't understand the material in time for the exams. it seemed that i would always learn the information after the exam was over. :/

sophomore year arrives. i'm going on my normal day-day schedule: chemistry, psych classes, nutrition, orthopedic evaluation, etc. i'm getting really stressed about next year and grad school. i had wanted to re-do anatomy next year, not because i failed but because i wasn't happy with my grade and a do-over would help my with my gpa. so as i met with my adviser in october. i talked to her a little bit of what i wanted to do. what to swap for next semester's schedule, what to do and when. i also spoke of leaving the advanced PT program {3+3} and going to the 4+3 PT program instead. she told me that that was an easy adjustment to make.

i didn't want to take a million science classes and not fully appreciate or enjoy the college experience. i am going to a liberal arts school, and am currently not receiving a variety of classes. i wanted to be able to do dance as well as the other arts & photography.

however, as i continued to think, read&prepare for my upcoming years here, i just felt so uneasy in my spirit. i knew that i could do the work. i'm not incapable. it was just that i was afraid of being behind my class and not being able to get a job afterward. i also couldn't see myself as a physical therapist. originally, i thought i did. working in an office for sports rehab and/or with athletes was my plan. the more i tried to picture my future, and the more i prayed that God would show me an answer, the more i couldn't see myself as a physical therapist.

so, i went to those who meant a lot to me: family&friends. they all said that i work hard, explain information&material very well, and relate to people. some said i would make a good physical therapist.

winter break comes. yay! no classes for a whole month! after some much needed r&r, i needed to buy books again & get ready for spring semester.

i was on the computer at home, ordering books with my mom. i remember this vividly. then, as we were looking through the online catalog of the college's bookstore, i started to get stressed out. was this really what i wanted to continue in? should i even bother going on with a health science major? again, an uneasiness in my inner self&spirit arose. i started to cry with an unknowing of what to do. my mom&i talked about it, and she had told me to make an appointment with a local physical therapist who knows our family friends pretty well. needless to say, the appointment didn't end up happening. but she did say to me before, "did you ever pray about this?"

by this she meant my major. did God ever want me to do physical therapy? i wasn't sure because i never truly asked.

my sister&i return back to school. i go about my daily schedule, and am trying to stay positive&work hard. with the dance show coming up, work, and studies... things got very busy&hectic--very fast.

for a while now, i don't precisely know how long, i have been dealing with a lot of stress, uneasiness&confusion concerning my future&major while here at school. so, once again, i start thinking about my options. i prayed and talked it out with my friends.

the ball got rolling on wednesday of last week. i was coming back from the gym with my friend and we were talking about my worries&concerns. i told her about how i was afraid that i wouldn't be a good physical therapist, get a job, or be happy. i told her that the reason why i kept health sciences as an option for my major was because i took a few classes that really inspired&excited me about health&wellness. healing from the inside out. the whole body&mind--not just the scientific levels of a person.

my choices went like this:
*health sciences/PT
*health sciences/PT with photography classes jr&sr year
*health sciences NO PT {i could do this, but i will eventually need a specialty later on anyways}
*creative arts & therapy with a dance concentration {i liked dance, but would really like to use it as a personal outlet--plus my sister has that major}
*creative arts & therapy with a visual arts concentration
*creative arts & therapy with a visual arts concentration & integrated photography classes.
---hm, that last one sounded reaaaalllllyyyyyyyy good.

last week on thursday i was in my friends' room and we talked for HOURS {not just on this subject} but it was where i brainstormed, shared, confessed&sought counsel. in the end....

...a decision was made.

i have decided to change my major from health sciences/pt to CAT visual arts&photography!!!! :D

immediately following, i felt total peace, rest&clarity. i am positive that god had his hand on the situation. after my declaration, my friend val told me that about two months ago, she had this feeling that physical therapy wasn't really meant for me. that it wasn't what i was supposed to do. it didn't fit. THANK YOU JESUS! what a confirmation!

i am actually happy&excited for school again! i wrote my adviser an email, and am now on a brand new road! a new road that i am sure god will have his hand on once again. i will continue to seek him out and pray that he will continue to teach me to be quiet and rest in his peace&love&wisdom.

this new aspired journey will be one of creativity, love & a willingness to allow God to move through me. my vision is to help heal those hurt from the inside out through art and God's almighty love.

<3>

LOSTgeneration

i got this in an email. it is totally amazing! you need to watch it in its entirety. this video definitely hits home at the end.

busy*bee

i've been a very busy bee lately. lots of studying, reading, working, and of course checking my emails--multiple times. ::whoops::

my mom always told me that when you are studying, you should take periodic short breaks to clear your head and so you don't become antsy.

well, the key is to take those breaks after some significant amount of studying first.

::whoops:: again, oh well.

i have a chem test tomorrow at 8am and am not too excited for it. hopefully i will go in with a clear head and a calm heart. no point in taking a test when you are so worried you can not focus--might as well not study for hours before hand!

i am aiming at going to bed tonight at a reasonable hour-- please God, let me get some much needed rest tonight.

sorry that this post was short. i suppose i was using it as my "break".

i'll be back later--tonight--tomorrow--sometime in the future.

God bless you! <3>

:: philippians4:13
i can do all things through Christ who strenthens me ::

premio dardos award

"With the Premio Dardos is to recognize the values that each blogger uses to transmit cultural values, ethical, literary, personal, etc.. that, in short, demonstrate their creativity through the thought that is alive and remains intact from their letters, between his words. These stamps were created with the intention of promoting fraternization between bloggers, a way of showing affection and gratitude for a job that adds value to the Web."

i have been honored to have been mentioned on Jen's blog My Moments for this award. so, as the rules go, in order to collect the award, i need to pass this on to fifteen other bloggers' blogs. i am not quite sure if i'll be able to reach the needed number, but will try. i am still learning the members of this blogging community and enjoying it very much.

thanks again for this recognition. :) it reassures me that the motivation that caused me to create my two blogs in the first place is fulfilling itself. i am making a difference, somehow, somewhere...even if it is the smallest bit. thank you all for making the opportunity for me to share myself openly! i look forward to getting to know more of you through all of your blogs! <3

1. The Unobtrusives is a very unique, and different blog. Viviane puts a new perspective on different aspects of everyday life.

2. Beautifully Broken, by Emily is so enjoyable. she expresses her love of Jesus in ways that only continue to inspire me to continue in my own walk in Christ.

3. Chase Images is a gorgeous blog with great photos and personality. i enjoy it immensely.

4. Dare 2 Dig Deeper is another blog by Emily.

5. It Takes Skill To Trip On Flat Ground is a blog i came upon a while ago, and like to visit.

6. Thankful Paul's blog JESUS AND THE ATHEIST is a blog where, the first post i read made me so excited and thankful that there was someone sharing their testimony in Christ. thank you for your determination and love for Jesus.

7. I learned about Jessica's blog Photography by Jessica through Jen {My Moments}. I love looking at her photos and seeing the love she pours into her family and friends.

8. Nancy, is one of my best friends. she is so determined, passionate, and full of life. I am happy that she takes the time to write so much about what she thinks is important to her. i love you! visit her blog Recovering the Satellites if you want to take an everyday meaning of a word, song or phrase and see it from a different perspective!

9. Jonna's blog, SHE in China is an interesting blog. with stories of traveling and life in another country. she is helping me stay focused in my aspirations as a traveler for the future.

10. Katherine's blog, katherine lou is a different blog than some of the others. she is very much into fashion as well as photography and shares lovely parts of her life.

11. teh cheese stands alone is a new blog i just recently started to follow, and already is funny and interesting to read. i feel like whatever Krista writes about, i have either thought about doing or have done it. very ironic.

12. Wonderfully Made! is another new blog i am visiting and is pretty artistic and creative. i am starting to get my creative juices flowing for gifts for friends and family by looking here.

unfortunately, i don't have quite 15 blogs to mention for this award, but i personally think the number is just a goal and not a requirement. thanks to all you bloggers for touching my life in little ways and for upgrading my blogging community{family}. :D

<3

speak the word

Unsettled hearts
Promise what they cant deliver
Bring me the wine
And the cold night air to clear my head
Gray matter memory house
Master of this trembling flesh
Steady still my doubts
Let me speak the word that precedes bliss
Let me speak the word
Let me speak the word

Love love love love love love love love

Let me speak the word
Let me speak the word

Love love love love love love love love

Let me speak the word
Let me speak the word

Let me speak the word
Let me speak the word

These weakened knees
Have not touched ground or pew in ages
I haven't bowed my head
I offer thanks to any God or to ask for favors
But watch me now
I'm falling down
Praying
To speak the word that precedes bliss
To speak the word
To speak the word

Love love love love love love love love

Let me speak the word
Let me speak the word

Love love love love love love love love

Let me speak the word
Let me speak the word

Let me speak the word
Let me speak the word

written by Tracy L Chapman

check out my other blog!

i put up pictures from this weekend! please check out my other blog to see them. i'm trying out picasa and trying to understand how to use it. hopefully it works! :D

thank you lordy-lord

the show went wonderfully last night! yay! the lighting went smoothly {transitions and communication between pieces}, music, and the audience was great! let's hope today's after noon show as well as tonight's goes just as well or better! :D

yearn- shane&shane

dancing&performing

ok, so this weekend {starting tonight!} is our college's dance ensemble dance performance. there will be dancing {duh}, and smiles, and hopefully some good lighting.

hopefully some lighting??

usually the week of the show we rehearse in the theater every night from about 6-11 pm. very tiring and long. luckily we only stayed in the theater once until 11 and that was for the first of the three runs of the show, during two days of dress rehearsal. mon&tue were tech days {mon-first half of the show, tues-second half of the show}. this is where we figure out lighting, colors, cues of when to stop the music, turn up the lights, or change the color of the lights during your dance piece. mon&tues went smoothly and very well.

however, our first dress rehearsal {wed--where we run the show back to back for more practice} the cues were off, the lights wouldn't brighten, and basically all the dancers had to dance in either darkness or very VERY minimal lighting. we tried to fix it for the next dress rehearsal {thurs} but the same thing happened. so our lights guy has to manually turn on the colors and lights throughout every dance during the entire show!

it seems as though our equipment in the drama dept is very old {borderline ancient}. the computers take in {some} cues programmed to it, but are unable to display it through the lighting. hence, the reason why our lighting person needs to do it manually. a more difficult job for him, but much appreciated!

other than the lighting, and some mix-ups on a dance, all three dress rehersals went very well! we were very happy and proud with everyone's cooperation. :) now that tonight is the actual show {eeks!} i am hopeful and eager to see how it will come together. i am sure that it will turn out great. dancers love to dance&perform. that is exactly what i want the audience to notice from me---the fact that i love to dance.

yes, it gets tiresome. it takes away time from studying and going to sleep early, but i really do like it. there is def drama every now and then {not a big fan of drama}, but it seems as if everyone tries to move on, which is very good.

i am a little anxious this weekend, not necessarily because of the show but because of my papers, quiz, and readings due mon,tue&wed. i am sure God will allow me to get everything i need to get done, done--as he has done it for me in the past. he let me go into studying with a clear head, and a focused mind--soooo vital!

so God bless you in your weekend plans. this has been a very long week for me and i am excited that it is almost over, but before that occurs there is going to be...lots of dancing! :)

the fourth annual bloggers (silent) poetry reading

i thank you God for most this amazing by E. E. Cummings

i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything
wich is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday;this is the birth
day of life and love and wings:and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any-lifted from the no
of all nothing-human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

:: i read on someone's blog that today is the fourth annual bloggers (silent) poetry reading. I wanted to participate, so i am posting this poem i found ::

living in another era

i'm listening to the BecomingJane soundtrack and because i really, really love the movie as well as Pride&Prejudice, sometimes i wonder what it would be like to live in that time period---or era.

the clothes, the parties, the arts---reading, writing, painting, playing music.

the search for the ideal husband to bring you happiness and love. the suitors asking your father for permission for your hand in marriage. the flowers, ribbons&dresses the girls wear--aside from the lack of oxygen from the corsets----all so romantic.

however, even though these assets of the times seem so luxurious (even if the characters in the particular movies were lower class---the commitment and determination to use what they already have is honorable), everybody had to work so hard to get what they needed or wanted.

to represent the family name as much as these people did during these times is respectable--probably much better use of your time than watching tv or partying so much that you bring disgrace to yourself or even family because you can't even remember the friend that took care of you the night before. and to even keep your family name up high in that era is difficult. if a daughter was not married off in time for no apparent reason, the family would become the topic of conversation amongst the town.

on other thought--- maybe i wouldn't like to live in another era. i think i'll just keep the daydreaming of JaneAustin characters just that---daydreaming.

oh well.... being able to learn 5 languages, having your own library of amazing novels in your house, and a gorgeous man begging to marry you would be kinda cool though.

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